User blog:Baconski/The Magical Bagel
I woke up at 6:30am. I felt a slight feeling of anxiousness as I had to go take my next class in my college, unaware of knowing what will come that day. I got up from my Bunk Bed that had my laptop setup replacing the bottom part of the bunk before coming to the realization that there was a desk with a computer setup and a more tech-looking laptop on it, both were more powerful than my laptop, but I never used them since I installed PMU on that one laptop. Before getting dressed, I check my phone's weather app, seeing it is going to be hot in this fine summer day. Naturally, I grab a black tee and sweatpants and a bomber jacket that WWII pilots would wear from my closet. It was at this point in time that I began to feel my stomache rumbling. I ran downstairs and checked my pantry to see what I could eat without having to turn on the stove or microwave. I ran out of breakfeast bars and that was true honesty because the whole box is being buried by bags of Flaming Hot Cheetos. There was also a crowbar with a label reading "Use in case Michael Phelps is indeed a cyborg" in there, but that was unimportant for the matter at hand. It was then, I saw the solution to all my problems. In the corner of the pantry, was a bag that had a single bagel in it. I didn't have time to contemplate, I quickly grabbed the bag and ran out to the counter and began unwrapping it, but I rushed back into the pantry and grabbed jars full of Peanut Butter, Nutella, and the Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme. Using a butter knife, I spread the contents of all the jars onto the bagel. I took a good look at it, and it was the most disgusting thing I have ever created, and I still don't even know why I decided this was a good idea, maybe because I thought it was a beautiful sight to behold as a creation that would scar me for life. Now unable to hold out any longer, I proceeded to cram the bagel into my mouth like a barbarian and felt it fall down my throat. A blue flame erupted from me as a sound wave caused all glass in the room to shatter and proceeded to travel outwards toward the city, where I saw an 18-wheeler explode. It was at this point, where I heard a voice behind me. "I am thou..." the voice said. "Thou art I... From the sea of thy Food Court, I consume..." I turned around, and I was aghast at what I saw. "Thy heart that beats for thy friends cooking lights mine holy dinner plate... I am thou... Thou art I..." Floating right behind me, was a tiny grey mouse sitting atop a large jar of honey. "I am Leostel, awakened to the fact that you never bought any of MY HONEEEEEEEEY!" ... I woke up, halfway from falling off my bunk. It was still dark out, but I checked my phone and saw that the current time was 3:27am. Below the time on my phone, I saw a wall of @mentions from discord that all had the same simply crafted message. aeiou. Upon seeing that, I turn my phone off and quickly fall asleep, not wanting to tell anyone of the dream that I had that night... ... ... ... ... ... Wait a second. Category:Blog posts Category:Joke